so, it sounds bad, but really it was totally innocent, or desperate, depending on interpretation! finding the queer scene here in moscow has been one goose chase after another, so i've been finding myself playing spot-the-lesbian (i don't know if anyone else has been to europe but all the visual coding is totally different here - gee wizz i sound like such a pomo... "visual coding" question mark! anyway, you get the point - what looks like a lesbian to me is really a hip and funky straight woman, it's confusing). Anyway, so i've become a bit of a dodgy stalker.
seriously, the only way i found this club i went to the other night, which was the fourth place i had tried, was after i thought it didn't exist because it looked like the building was under major construction... anyway, so i was dejectedly walking down the street in the other direction, when i saw three potentially queer looking women walking past. i thought to myself 'aha! i should follow them!' then realising how bad that was, proceeded to have this big internal debate about the politics of visual judgement, following women, stalking, balancing all those things with the fact that i'm a traveller just looking for some of my own people to hang out with for an evening and having seriously put myself in a lot of danger walking down many a dark moscow alley at night time only to find strip clubs where there had been lesbian bars advertised, or finding men-only gay saunas where women's nights had been advertised and being laughed at not only by the bouncers but by all the people on the door as well, and THEN being told that it would cost me $30 to enter a club as the only woman because i was not only a woman but a foreigner as well.... i concluded that it was justified to at least walk in their direction.
my internal judgement paid off! i found myself inside a really small but really diverse queer club, where people were just having heaps of fun, and there was even a nice boy who spoke a smattering of english and helped me with the cloak room.
anyway, back to the cemetery. i was wandering around moscow's most famous cemetery today (second only to lenin's tomb - i'll get to that later) and on my way to visit alexandra kollontai i saw to women holding hands and wandering around the cemetery. these were not the usual hand-holders that are ubiquitous in moscow - women in russia are incredibly affectionate in public in general, and often friends walk around holding hands with fingers intwined or with their arms linked - it is super lovely to see, but also a little confusing for the reasons i've already mentioned. i immediately sat down and wrote out (thanks to my trusty phrase book) a garbled message that went something like this: "hi, excuse me please, i am lesbian from australia, i here three days, what is there to do at night?"
needless to say they initially looked at me like a weirdo when i stopped them and asked if they spoke english. when they said the expected no, i showed them my awkward message. they said nothing, just motioned for a pen, didn't smile, and wrote down the name of the club i already knew about, gave me back my pen, and moved on. they didn't look very impressed, but later on when i saw them again one of them smiled at me. this was great, because smiling is just not done in russia - people don't smile. they are incredibly polite and courteous but it's not accompanied with any fake smiling or whatever. it's both good and bad i guess, or maybe just a little different.
anyway, to continue with the dead theme... mao, lenin, kollantai, gogol, chekov, kruschev, stalin, zetkin, dzherdzhinsky, eisenstein - i've seen em!!! lenin was clearly the highlight. he looked a lot more pastey and waxy than mao i have to say, but i guess his dead body is at least 40 years older so it's to be expected. i actually went to see him twice. the guards thought i was a freak.
one of them stopped me just before the door of the tomb and said "you go again? why?"
i said "i don't know, just because".
"why?"
"i don't know, just because..."
by this stage he's clearly laughing at me on the inside, but all that shows on the surface is a wry smirk.
"why? your eyes don't work the first time?"
"yeah, yep, that's it, i couldn't see properly..."
at this point he cracked a smile, finally, and off i went a second time.
and it was exciting that i did. i happened to see what i assume is the entire remaining moscow chapter of the old communist party - there were about 17 of them, and they were all above the age of 70. they had some sort of procession with banners and soviet flags up to the mausoleum, clutching some papers and having an empassioned speak out. they held a vigil for about half an hour, and then marched back out of red square. i didn't get to talk to any of them, but heard some of them singing the internationale. the leader was a woman who had an old workers cap on, and long grey plaits. her t-shirt was tucked into her tracksuit pants. she was great.
anyway, to all my socialist buddies, lenin says hi. or as i prefer to call him, "not-lenin". there's currently a debate going on in russia about whether to exume him and finally bury him beside his mother in st petersburg, but it's so controversial that it's unlikely to happen for at least 5 years.
in other news, and this really is NEWS - you've probably heard about it already. on saturday, while i was in this very city, a daring journalist who has been reporting with a critical edge on the chechnya situation was found in the stairwell of her apartment building here in moscow, with two bullet wounds to the head. on sunday there was a protest of about 3000 people at Pushkin Square, only a stone's throw from my hostel. but i didn't find out about this until later that evening when i returned from my day's outing, otherwise i definitely would have gone down to check it out. it's pretty full on. the BBC world service was reporting it as clearly related to the fact that she was reporting the way she was. apparently she was basically presenting a line that russia was being imperialist about chechnya, but not necessarily in the same way that reporters from the west do (ie with an opportunistic edge). so, moscow has been in a bit of a tizz for the last couple of days. however, at the kremlin today, all was calm as calm can be - no sign of any national murder scandal at all. apparently they are now reporting that they have footage of the assassin on video tape, but who knows what will happen with that.
hmm, so much else to report, but i'll leave it at that for now. moscow is totally amazing, and totally expensive. the whole city is like a pickled city - contrary to popular belief and ruling claims in the west, the soviet era in russia was not a walking path of destruction of history. in fact it's the total opposite. there is SO MUCH well preserved history here - it's really bloody amazing. i mean, if you want medieval ruins, they're here, just in the middle of everything else. if you want 11th and 12th century iconography, it's here and always has been, and if anything it has been lovingly cared for. if you want 18th and 19th century masterpiece artworks, you'll see more here than you will anywhere else. if it's architecture, ballet, opera, old theatres, historic sites and buildings, memorials, museums, trains (i know you love it kate f...) - moscow is the place for you. and all this exists alongside the most modern and amazingly bewildering modern scene. shopping is MASSIVE. people love it. high-heeled shoes are massive, as are the heels. clubs, pubs, street drinking, fast cars, drugs, hotels, cafes, and youth culture... it's all here. it's like a version of london or paris but without the western pretensions. it's totally amazing and mind-blowing, as is the metro and all it's every-day splendour. i'm looking forward to my next three days here.
anyone is welcome to email me or post comments - i'll try to remove the restriction on posting comments so that anyone is able to do it. also, i'm planning to make at least weekly and if not, fortnightly, posts to this blog, so if you check it once a fortnight you should be able to keep well informed of my comings and goings.
til next time,
kd.
